Ego discussion, Part 1

March 4, 2013 Divine Love Talk

Guests: Dr. Sarah Larson and Kim Michaels

Topics: The very least you should know about the ego, part 1 of 4.  Healing what Hurts workshop on March 16.  

(Parthenia introduces the topics and her guests.)

Parthenia:  We’re going to be sharing from the transcendence toolbox today. … Kim what I wanted to start out with is getting the audience to understand some of the illusions of the ego.  And one of the central illusions of the ego, that you cover on your website, is when the ego convinces you that following an outward teaching will get you to heaven without giving up the ego.  So I wanted to start with that, Kim, if you could share something on that topic.

Kim Michaels: Yeah, well, the ego is always at a deficit, because the way I look at the ego – And I know there are different ways to define the ego and I don’t want to say that mine is the only one or better than anybody else’s – but the way I look at the ego is that it actually is what separates us from our source, separates us from our higher self.  And so, because the ego is created out of separation, it can never bring us back to oneness.  And oneness, as I see it, is the goal of all spiritual and religious teachings, is to get back to oneness with our source.  And so the ego can never do that.  And so it almost has to create the appearance that we can get where we want to go without giving up the ego.  And that’s precisely, as you said, many of the outer religions in the world; they give you that impression.  I mean that the simplest possible way is religions who basically say that if you are a member of that religion and if you follow a few simple outer rules, you are guaranteed to go to heaven.  And that, of course, is the ego’s dreams.  Yeah, that’s the ego dream.

Parthenia:  Well, and you know, I found a piece on your website – there’s a nine part series called The Least You Should Know About Your Ego.  And those of you who really are suffering in many, or even in one area of your life; you gotta understand that that’s the ego game.  It is going to keep you in suffering.  And Kim, I posted the link to that nine part series that you have teaching people the very least that they should know about their egos. … But one of the quotes that you had – and you mentioned that when the soul lost its connection to God, it felt alone, even abandoned.  And because the aloneness was unbearable, the soul needed something to take the place of its spiritual teacher, which in the Garden of Eden; the people were referring to the spiritual teacher as God.  And that something became the human ego, which is designed as a way to compensate for the soul’s loss of connection.  The ego is designed to prevent the soul from feeling alone.  Now, I thought that was very cogent, Kim, because we’ve been taught that our ego is our amigo and that we have no identity without our ego.  But I wanted to point out that the ego is our false sense of self, which we believe is our identity and we believe that that is all that we are is our ego.

(Dr. Sarah gives a list of traits of the false self and the traits of the true self.)

Parthenia:When we come back from commercial break, Kim, I would like for you to go into how the ego uses black and white thinking, which I call dichotomous thinking.  It’s either right or wrong, good or evil.  And then, how it keeps you separate from true spirituality and how we move into grey thinking, which is another form of separation.


Parthenia:Today, we are sharing tools from Kim Michael’s website on the ego.  He is our expert on the ego and spirituality.  Kim, one of the points that a lot of the audience is not aware of is that Christ is a title and that there is something called the Christ Consciousness, which Christ did try to teach us when he kept saying: ‘the father and I are one.’  So could you open up with the Christ Consciousness, explaining that to the audience, because that’s going to be a tool that’s going to help us with our ego?

Kim Michaels:  Yeah, well, if you want it in a Christian perspective, you can take the gospel of John, which starts out talking about the Word.  And the Word was from the beginning with God.  And the Word was God.  And without the Word was not anything made that was made.  And then, later, of course, it talks about Jesus, as well, as a representative of the Word.  And I believe that what we need to do, and I believe that what Jesus, himself, was very clear on; was that he had attained the Christ Consciousness, but he was not the fullness of the Christ Consciousness, because the Christ Consciousness has a universal aspect that is beyond any individual human being on a planet like earth.

And so I think we need to keep this in mind, that there is a universal aspect of the Christ Consciousness and this is something that is beyond the earth.  And that means that the ego cannot do what the ego always wants to do, control everything.  OK, the ego will never be able to control the Christ Consciousness.  But, what it has attempted to do is to create a system, a religion, that says there was only one person in the history of the world who could have the Christ Consciousness, and that was Jesus.  And I believe that Jesus, himself, would denounce that idea very, very, very clearly.  Because there is a situation in the Bible, where a man comes up to him and says: ‘good master.’  And Jesus gets very stern, and says there is none good but God.  So I think Jesus was very realistic in realizing that he was just an open door for the Christ Consciousness to express itself in the world.  And that we all have that potential.

Parthenia:Yes, and you point out that the Word is also the Only Begotten Son of God, which is the Christ Consciousness and that the Christ Consciousness represents paradise, which in the story of the Garden of Eden, that’s what it’s about.  It’s our loss of paradise and our loss of the Christ Consciousness.  And that the fundamental –

Kim Michaels:  Well, really our loss of Oneness, because the Christ Consciousness is Oneness.  Because the Christ Consciousness was actually created – I talk about that more on the website – but we have to understand that the universe is designed based on the fact that God gave us free will.  And that means we can lose our way, away from Oneness.  We can make choices that take us away from Oneness.  And so, the way God designed it is that the Christ Consciousness is the unifying element, which means that no matter how far we go into separation; we always have a way back to Oneness.  And that is the function of the Universal Christ Consciousness.

(Parthenia and Dr. Sarah talk about the shift in ourselves and the collective difference.)


Parthenia:…Kim is going to be talking to us about the difference between the Christ Consciousness and the anti-Christ consciousness.  And he’s also going to go into dichotomous, or black and white thinking, and grey thinking.  …

(Dr. Sarah reads letter that a student gave Parthenia)

Parthenia:So Kim Michaels, now he is the expert on the ego.  And Kim, I want to get back to the anti-Christ mind and the tricks that the ego uses in terms of dichotomous thinking and grey thinking.

Kim Michaels:  Yeah, well, let’s go back to the Garden of Eden that you mentioned earlier.  And a logical question to ask yourself is why was there forbidden fruit in the garden, and why was the serpent allowed to be in the garden.  And the short explanation is that the forbidden fruit represents the potential we have because of free will.  As I said earlier, we can either go more closer to Oneness, or we can go away from Oneness.  And take note of what the serpent said to Eve; that if you eat this fruit, you will not die, you will become as a god knowing good and evil.  And what that means is that the forbidden fruit is the anti-Christ consciousness.  When you go into it, you actually begin to believe that you are like a god, because you can define what’s good and evil, what’s true and untrue, what’s real and unreal.  But the problem is that that definition you come up with is born out of separation, so it has no reality to it.

That’s why Jesus said of the devil, there is no truth in him.  And it’s only through the Christ Consciousness that we can see the underlying truth that all life is one.  And so once we go into separation, we start creating this fantasy picture.  And that’s where, as you said, you get into dichotomous thinking or black and white thinking.  And black and white thinking really says: ‘there is only one possible truth, therefore everything else false.’  And that means that if you believe what I have defined, not what is the truth, but what I have defined as the truth; then you’ll go to heaven.  If not, you’ll go to hell.  And then, maybe it’s even OK that I torture you and kill you for your own good.

Parthenia:That’s right; it’s for your own good.

Kim Michaels:  Yeah!  And that black and white thinking is really the cause of most of the conflicts.  You know there is a whole movement out there now called The New Atheists, where they try to portray that it’s religion that is the cause of all warfare; but it’s actually black and white thinking.  And the funny thing is that science itself, or at least materialistic science, has done a lot to actually make black and white thinking worse.

We tend to think that scientific investigation and experiment reveals only one possible truth, like the law of gravity.  There is really only one way to explain why apples fall to the ground.  And that’s because there is a force that’s pulling them down.  But, that isn’t the case.  And we have known this since the 1920s when scientists discovered quantum physics, or developed quantum physics.  Now if we go into this – I’m trying to do it really quick – there is a famous experiment in quantum physics that’s called the double sled experiment.  And what it basically shows is that a subatomic, so called, particle, sometimes behaves as a particle that is localized in space and at other times it behaves as a wave that’s extending through space.

Now based on black and white thinking you would say this is impossible.  It’s got to be either a particle or a wave; it can’t be both.  But what the real understanding, the deeper understanding of this enigma is, that it’s the questions we are asking that are the problem.  Because we are trying to force reality into the system we have created, where something either must be a particle or a wave.  And this is black and white thinking, where we have shut ourselves off.  It has to be either/or, it cannot be both.  But the reality is that we need to find a way to ask better questions so that we can understand what reality really is.  Because it’s neither a particle nor a wave; it’s a whole concept that needs to be taken to a higher level.  And that’s what quantum physics proved in the 1920s.  But nobody has paid really attention – well a lot of people have paid attention – but not any hard core scientists.

Parthenia:Right, because scientists – they have their scientific method.  And if it doesn’t fit their scientific method, which is based on the five senses, which is the ego - if you can’t see if, feel it, hear it, taste it, touch it; it doesn’t exist.  And then, it keeps us stuck in that place.  And then, we’re not even allowed to ask questions.  And many of the religions will discourage you from asking questions.  But then, let’s fast forward, Kim, and move – like a lot of people do manage to move out of dichotomous black and white thinking, where they believe that there religion is the only one.  And then, they move into what’s often a New Age group or a Metaphysical group and they move into grey thinking, where they believe that everything is all good and everything is positive and if I just think positive; that that’s going to take care of everything for me.  And a lot of people, their egos trick them and they get stuck in grey thinking and they think that they found the answer there in that form of spirituality.

Kim Michaels:  Yes, and that is unfortunate, because it causes a lot of very spiritual people – and in my view the people who have moved out of black and white thinking; they are the ones that have the potential to take our culture and our civilization beyond black and white thinking, and beyond all of this warfare.  But you can’t do that as long as you are stuck in grey thinking.  So, people really need to move out of this grey thinking and realize it isn’t correct, as the black and white thinkers say, that there is only one truth.  But it is not correct either, as the grey thinkers – to say that there is no reality, there is no truth, or there’s no way we can know; because we can know through the Christ Consciousness.  Well the thing is that in the Christ Consciousness we don’t actually elevate one of the old truths as the one and only.  As I said, we discover a whole new way to look at life that isn’t based on these dichotomies and the either/or thinking.  And that’s the beauty of the Christ Consciousness.  

Parthenia:… Now Kim, I would like you to go a little further into grey thinking, but I see Dr. Sarah has something to add.

(Dr. Sarah talks about when we are judging someone, we are not loving them.)

Parthenia:… Even when you move into grey thinking, you’re still thinking that: ‘oh, the Way is to’ – you think you’re not judging anybody.  And then you move into: ‘well, anything goes, ‘cause it’s all relative.’  They can’t move into this are of understanding that even Jesus and Buddha, they actually spoke out.  And they tried to raise the consciousness of the people around them.  So I’d like for you to address that, Kim.

Kim Michaels:  Yeah, well, the worst thing about grey thinking is that it pacifies people.  Because you have in the black and white thinking people are often very, very aggressive.  And they have to be, because they have said: ‘there is only one truth, and it’s mine.’  This means that they are automatically threatened by anything else than their truth.  And so they are constantly defending themselves.  And, of course, the best form of defense is an attack.  So you go out and accuse other people of being wrong or other people of being of the devil and this and that.  And so many people, when they move out of that; they get so fed up with this aggressive energy, where people are always projecting that you are wrong if you are not like me.  And it goes viewpoints, it goes skin color, it goes race, religion, whatever.  So many people who move out of black and white thinking – they see this, they see how completely – they just don’t want to deal with it anymore.

But the result is that then they withdraw themselves, and then say: ‘I don’t want to say anything anymore.  I don’t want to take part in the debate.’  And that’s tragic, because when people move through grey thinking; they can come up with, like you said, with a different perspective, which is what both Jesus and the Buddha and many other spiritual teachers have done.  They don’t – like Sarah was saying earlier – they don’t speak from the ego and the separateness of being threatened and judging.  They speak a different voice, a voice of love.  And it will take millions of people speaking from that centeredness to change our culture and our mindset.

(Parthenia and Dr. Sarah talk about balance and being willing to speak out.)

Princess (a caller):OK this question is for Kim Michaels and I want to know that the lack of communicating with people clearly is one of the blockages the ego is creating in my life, especially in my relationships.  So how can I go about that?

Kim Michaels:  Well, I would say that the first thing you could look at - and I’m not saying this is the only thing - but the first thing you could look at is: ‘Why do I feel threatened?  What is it in me that feels threatened when I communicate with other people?  What am I afraid of is going to happen?  What is it that always upsets me?’  And then you keep look at those feelings, you keep asking yourself: ‘What are the thoughts I have when I encounter this situation where I feel threatened?’  And then you have to keep looking at that.  Go into deeper layers and find these – sometimes it can be very, very subtle.

You know, you might be afraid that if other people say something you disagree with, you have to feel bad about yourself.  You may be able to trace that to a situation in your childhood.  But, what I’m saying is, we each have these little trigger mechanisms in us and usually when there are communication problems; it’s because the other people are pushing our buttons.  And so we need to make these buttons conscious so we can see what they are.

Parthenia:And Princess, I would add, in terms of us needing approval, sometimes we are afraid that if we speak our truth, other people won’t like us or love us or we’ll lose their approval.  Dr. Sarah do you have anything?

Dr. Sarah:Oh, and I want to add that we’ve been trained not to use our voice.  Women finding our resonance in what’s really, really true is a process.  And so really working on sharing.  And it’s a step by step process.  And doing it once will let you do it again and again.

(Tiffany calls in and asks how to get out of grey thinking, but at the same time not step into black and white thinking.)

Kim Michaels:  Well, it’s a very typical reaction for people who have started to come out of black and white thinking.  Because we really don’t want to deal with these people who are so accusatory and who get so upset.  Because their only way of dealing with a conflict is that they have to put us down.  And we’re tired of that.  And the only way that I have found in my life to deal with it is to say: ‘Well, why do I feel that way?  Why do I feel they are putting me down?  What is my wound that I can overcome?’  Because, if you can overcome your wound; you will be able to speak out without going into black and white thinking.



Copyright © 2013 Kim Michaels


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